I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My ass is underappreciated
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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