Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
