I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
