gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
