If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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