grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
