I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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