Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
