Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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