The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
