So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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