is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
