READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
