I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize