Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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