"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
