I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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