I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I am spending my child support on dildos
she looked like the before picture.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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