I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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