i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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