i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
