I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
