make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
