So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
