Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
