my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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