i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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