i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
