so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
