I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
