I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
