Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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