After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize