Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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