drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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