Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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