Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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