i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Panties = found
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