no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
