walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
