I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm both gender and math confused
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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