I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
