i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize