This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
