You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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