but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
