i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
