u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
id be glad to
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
the raccoons are back...
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