I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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