We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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