help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
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I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
BRING THE BAGELS
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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