I'm really into asian looking animals
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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