I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize