i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
