she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
