I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
