I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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