hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This baby is an asshole
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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