summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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